A is for ADJUNCT: We’re part-time professors,
Part teachers, part Father (or Mother) Confessors.

B is for BENEFITS: Full-timers get ‘em,
While we, on the other hand, mize well forget ‘em

C is for CLASSROOM: Our sanctum sanctorum.
When things get depressing, maintain your decorum!

D’s DEDICATION: Most students have some.
(While others, alas, are as DUMB as they come.)

E is for ESUs: Twelve is our limit.
You snuck in one more? The computer will trim it!

F is for FULL-TIME: The adjunct's Nirvana.
You know that you’re ready. The College don’t wanna.

G is for GRADES: When the students protest ‘em,
Admit it! You wish we’d the right to arrest ‘em!

H is for HOMEWORK: Be sure to assign it.
"Explain it. Discuss it. Defend it. Define it."

I is INTELLIGENCE: Often an oddity.
Always a student’s most useful commodity.

J is for JUDGEMENT CALL: We gotta make ‘em.
Sometimes they’re rational. Sometimes, we fake ‘em.

K is for KNOWLEDGE: We wander its hallways.
Get lost? On occasion. Return? Almost always.

L is for LIBRARY RESEARCH (Don’t snicker!):
The Fast LANE to LEARNING (though LIQUOR is quicker).

M is for MIDTERMS: We’ve made it halfway!
Three cheers! (All together now!) Hip-hip-hooray!

N is for NOTEBOOK: They scribble down oodles
And oodles of factoids. (Or is it all doodles?)

O is for OFFICE: Your home while at work.
Ain’t got one? Oh, right, that’s a full-timer’s perk.

P is for PARKING: Two quarters on exit.
This policy raises a question, but begs it.

Q is for QUIZZES: The QUIZZEE rejoices
When QUIZZERS ask QUESTIONS with multiple choices.

R's for RETIREMENT: The future we’d love.
(But can we afford it? See BENNIES, above.)

S is for STUDENTS: We’re nothing without ‘em.
(Forgive us our trespass when grumbling about ‘em.)

T is TUITION: At CCC, it’s low.
Which leads to the problem discussed just below.

U is for UNDERPAID: Based on tuition,
Our pay makes it tough to bring dreams to fruition.

V is for VICTIM but also VACATION,
Which those of our station approach with elation!

W's WHERE, WHEN and in WHAT amounts:
"Use complete sentences. Yes, spelling counts."

X is EXAMS: Teachers’ chance to XAMINE
How students XCEL at their last-minute crammin’.

Y is for YAKKETY-YAK and for YADDA:
You don’t wanna hear all that YAWP, yet you gotta.

And Z (given all the above) is for ZERO:
The usual count of an adjunct’s complaints.
Which makes, I submit, us the Modern-Day Hero.
We part-timers rock! We’re the Latter-Day Saints!

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