5 Goofy Questions Students Ask
and the Answers We Instructors Would Love to Give
1. YOU SAY: "I know the syllabus says the assignment is due today, but I forgot to bring it to class. When can I turn it in?"
WED LOVE TO SAY: "Never. Assignments are due when theyre due. Dont forget to bring them with you. Dont try to do them in the 30 seconds before class begins. If youre going to miss a class session when somethings due, its your responsibility to turn it in a session early, or to have someone else bring it to campus and either deliver it to me or put it in my mailbox or slide it under my office door by the time class ends. Obviously, Ill be reasonable in cases of legitimate emergency absence. In such cases, you are required to call me or email me by 9 PM on the day of the absence to explain why you missed turning in the assignment on time. If your reason is legit, Ill accept the late work. If not, or if you forget to contact me by 9 PM on the day of the absence, I wont."
2. YOU SAY: "Do I have to [insert just about anything here]?"
WED LOVE TO SAY: "No. This is college, not high school. In high school, you had to. In college, you pay over $110 per credit hour for the opportunity to. If you want to pay for the opportunity and not use it, thats up to you!"
3. YOU SAY: "I have something I have to do coming up next week. Do you mind if I skip class?"
WED LOVE TO SAY: "Why would I mind? I get paid the exact same salary whether youre there or not. But keep in mind that assignments are due when theyre due, and youre responsible for all material covered during any class you miss and for any new assignments given during your absence."
4. YOU SAY: "I wasnt in class last time. I didnt miss anything important, did I?"
WED LOVE TO SAY: "No, of course not. The moment I noticed you werent there, I had all the students who were there put their heads down and just sit silently until the session ended."
5. YOU SAY: "I wasnt in class last time. What did I miss?"
WED LOVE TO SAY: "You missed an entire class session. If I knew how to cram the material into three minutes, I would have done so in class and sent everyone home early. But I dont. If youd like me to teach the entire session over again just for you, I get paid $80 an hour, and, frankly, Id prefer cash to a check."
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